A sunny March day with spring finally coming to life seemed a fitting time to meet for another of Chris Dudzinska’s Dead Good Cake ‘n Chat sessions.

22 people arrived at Briar House in the middle of York to listen, learn and participate in / on the subject of death, dying, bereavement and all the associated choices, traumas and emotions associated with this difficult and yet mostly un-discussed topic which is common to us all.

Immediate attention was given to the teas, coffee and cake, all of which came in a variety of well received flavours.

The assembled and seated group quickly moved into discussions varying from “how many bodies can I bury in my garden?” to more pointed legal questions.

The group questions were answered by all involved including two subject specialists namely: event organiser Chris Dudzinska who organises funerals with a focus on making them very personal but without the large expense that is often associated with some Funeral Directors. Also attending to help with legal questions was Rachel Roche (Roche Legal, York) who is a Solicitor specialising in the support of families to help straighten out the sometimes complex pathways of the legalities relating to wills and probate etc.

Other specialists included Celebrants, Soul Midwives, Nurses experienced in end-of-life situations and of primary importance were those who had lost loved ones and just wanted to participate in any way they could.

The flow of the conversation was natural and the calm dynamic of the group resulted in no one person or particular topic dominating the event. Topics covered included ‘what happens if I die alone?’, ‘I want the most environmentally friendly burial possible’, ‘What happens if I die in my non-native country?’ plus several other good ‘link’ discussions. Rachel Roche answered several specific questions relating to Wills and made the point that having a Will written is easy to do and can save so much time, anguish, heartaches and family arguments if done when people are alive and thinking clearly and freely. This point backed up the all too common event of someone dying and not really stating what they want for their funeral and sometimes their ‘estate’, resulting in family arguments and disagreements at a time when emotions are understandably heightened.

Overall it was a really constructive group discussion with lots of positive feedback. The next session is booked for 15th May, 3.30 to 5pm, at Helmsley Arts Centre, Meeting House Court, Helmsley,YO62 5DW.

Dead Good Cake ‘n Chat (for those who want to talk about death and dying)

 Date: Saturday 12th March 2016

 Time: 2.30 till 4 pm

 Venue: Briar House Resources, Club Chambers, Museum St, York, YO1 7DN

 Hosted by: Chris Dudzinska of Last Wishes Funerals (01653 627 170)

 Guest: Rachel Roche, Roche Legal, Solicitor

 Cost: £5.00 to cover expenses, to include tea and cake

At last people are beginning to talk openly about death and dying, dispelling long-held myths and taboos. It seems bizarre that we have kept death behind closed doors for so long, tiptoeing around the inevitable, but now there is the perfect opportunity for people to meet up to have an informal chat whilst becoming informed – and enjoying tea and cake! Who doesn’t like a yummy cake?!!

This is not a bereavement group, but a chance to speak freely about any aspects of death or dying whether good or not quite so good. We hope, between us, to answer people’s questions and be more prepared to think about what we would like at the end – before the end. Thinking about the inevitable in advance ensures that we and our families are better prepared to have what we would like, rather than what might be foisted upon us, albeit well-meaning.

A selection of teas, coffee and cakes (gluten and dairy-free) will be provided.

Next Dead Good Cake ‘n Chat Saturday 24th September 2016, same time, same place.

Last Wishes Funerals is an alternative and ethical funeral business advising on and offering choices – not packages – to suit you.